 |
He tries not to get the three confused. |
|
| |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
I buy my electricity as well as my gas from British ("There’s no place like a British Gas Home") Gas. Last week, I received a letter from them with the heading "Cap your electricity prices until 2004". The letter began: "Dear Mr Foreman, As a valued gas and electricity customer, you could already be paying less for your electricity than your local supplier would charge" Right. Are you (a) telling me that you have customers that you don't value, (b) telling me that British Gas customers who are not valued are not paying less for their electricity, or (c) using market-speak to make me feel good? If (c), I regret you have failed. The letter goes on: "Now we'd like to offer you the opportunity to enjoy low prices for some time to come." That's nice of you. "Just contact us and register before 30th November 2002 and we'll cap your electricity prices until 2004." An asterisk informs me that 2004 actually means 1 January 2004. "This means that even if we do have to increase our prices, you'll continue to pay the same low price as you do now. And if electricity prices come down at time during that period, you'll pay even less." I see. You could be nice and simply write say, "we've frozen your electricity prices until 1 January 2004," but actually you're making me take the time to write to fill in the form to ask you to do so. Is this because you believe that I might not want my electricity prices frozen? Or I might actually want you to put the price up? "Offer must end soon" it informs me. Of course. And this letter has arrived less than a week before I have to apply to have my electricity price capped. It's a good thing I wasn't on holiday. And I'm relying on our notoriously inefficient post office (of which more anon) to get the completed form back to British Gas in time. True, there's a telephone number to call, but at least BG have paid for the cost of the coupon, whereas I'd have to pay the price of a call. Or I could go to the website, but signing the form and sticking it in the post is quicker. Two things irritate me about this scheme: the dishonesty and the cost. The dishonesty stems from the fact that BG claim to benefit the customer by keeping their electricity prices low. In fact it benefits British Gas by allowing them to raise prices for the many customers who, for one reason or another, will not respond to the form. If British Gas genuinely wanted to freeze customer prices, it would simply do so. It is bargaining on the fact that a number of customers will fail to respond: those on holiday, those with little time to read fatuous junk mail and those whose literacy skills are low. Assuming that they will have to put up electricity prices, it would be fairer to put those prices up for everybody at a smaller percentage than putting them up for a few. And the cost factor? Well, someone had to be paid to think up this stupid idea. And the letter sent to me and thousands of other customers also had to be paid for, as did my post-paid reply. The call-centre operatives had to be trained to respond to callers and the website had to be amended. That comes to quite a bit of money. Cut the costs of this marketing gimmick and BG has made quite a bit of savings already. All they need to do is to inform all their customers on their next bill that prices have been frozen until 1 January 2004 and everyone's happy - except the marketing team who are out of a job and the idiotic executive who approved the scheme. But when they assert that there's no place like a British Gas home, I presume they mean a British Gas home is one inhabited by the country's most gullible consumers. All I want from British Gas, or whoever my supplier is, is gas and electricity at a reasonable rate. What I don't want is stupid marketing tricks. I remain with BG out of inertia; I can't be bothered to do the research to find out which supplier is the cheapest or most ecologically sound. But if the company continues to waste my money on gimmicks rather than on efficient power supply, I will soon take my custom elsewhere. As for the post office? Well, I live in Bow, one of the experimental areas for the new system whereby second deliveries are being scrapped and customers with large amounts of mail receive their post first. Pre-experiment, I would receive a few letters, mostly British Gas-type junk mail, every day, but in the last two months delivery has become so erratic as to be laughable. Frequently now, for several days in a row, I receive nothing and then a whole bundle arrives at once, usually in the middle or late afternoon. Some post that I should have received has gone missing - a cheque that should have been delivered was cashed in someone else's name and is now in the hands of the fraud squad - as has post that I have sent. The piece de resistance was the arrival at six thirty one evening of about ten pieces of mail, one of which was from Royal Mail customer service thanking me for my patience during this time. I responded to that letter and got a reply explaining that changes were essential and the second delivery had to go. Well, yes, I can live without a second delivery, but logic tells me that instead of a complete shake up, all you need to do is maintain the system exactly as it is but delete the second delivery. Then, to save costs, you either send all the staff home after the first delivery or you use the time that is freed up to further rationalise the system. What you don't do is completely change the whole system so that now the only delivery either doesn't take place at all or takes place at some time in the afternoon or early evening. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, but the Royal Mail, in its infinite lack of wisdom, decided to fix it, and now it really is broke. It was I suppose, ever thus. Con merchants and incompetent business managers have existed ever since the first consumer handed over a steaming gazelle carcase in return for a promise of greater crop yields. It's just disappointing to see the tradition continue. Next week, I promise, a gripe-free zone... In the meantime, cheer yourself up with fireworks |
|
Nothing |
 |
 |
| 9 December 2002 |
 |
|
© Martin Foreman |